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I have to check out my old
posts just to know where I am right now. God, it’s not even on the thirties
note yet, and it’s already at the end of August.
But honestly, this month is
the most productive month I’ve ever been. And also the month I’ve met my turning point.
I’m picking out macramé again,
and in the middle of finishing my first macro macramé project. It’ll take more
weeks to finish though. I kinda messed up in the beginning, so it’s definitely
not my best project. Rather it turns out to be a scary piece. I’ll post that
later when I finish the whole thing.
I think I made a lot of micro
macramé too, so I guess I’m gonna keep up with the works since it only took me
some hours to finish.
And I did cover songs on
monthly basis. To be fair, it was the only project I‘d been keeping up with.
Numbers do effect me in the end. It’s not that I gain a lot of viewers though.
Well, I haven’t post them here
yet, since it won’t be funny if the only things I post were just my ukulele cover
video. I can’t record my original songs, and I haven’t made any new song this
year. I just couldn’t. The same thing with poetry. I’m not sure if I will write
any poems. I’m gonna postpone them for now.
So, for the time being, I’ll post my macramé
project and ukulele cover. And may be some notes too.
Now, let’s talk about this
future plan thing. And no, those eight paragraphs are just the preface. The
thing is just like what I said before; I’ve met my turning point. And with all
the drama, shame, guilt, and regrets, with a clear mind and deep thought, I’ve
decided to take my life to another level.
And I’m not talking about
marriage, alright. It was about my career and my life in general. I can’t
continue living in this town. I have to leave.
It’s about time I move
forward, living on my own. I can’t keep free-renting in my parents’ house and
being supported by them forever. And I’m already this old. I can’t continue
living like this.
You see, I’m way too
comfortable with my current job which I never thought that I’d be. It’s been
less stressful lately and I finally get used to it. Not that I become some pro
or anything. It’s just that I’d accepted it. The job which I took unwillingly
at first. The job which was offered to me by my mother’s connection. The job
that I took for granted.
Well, but the moving out
things would happen if I pass the test though. Which is beyond me. I have to
study all over again and there’re a lot of competitors too. I wonder if I’ll
even pass the first test at all.
Guess I’ll never know until I
try it. And it’s time to move forward. I guess I keep burying myself with
regrets and shames that I can’t seek out to my friends anymore. But I have
enough, It’s been two years already.
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