Second Stage: Peony

16th Note-A Cup of Tea (Random Talk Part II)

February 11, 2019
By kyrayu
0 Comments

Intermezzo (Image Source: https://www.mindful.org/mindful-cup-tea)

Okay, here I go, Random Talk Part II. So I made this intermezzo for like one out of 10 notes, and since I'm on my way to 20, so I'm gonna use this one chance to just talk about some random things which might not be useful at all. But then again since when that my postings were useful?

Anyway, I kinda lack 2 post so far, so I'm gonna finish them all while I'm doing this post. You got it? I don't. God, what the hell am I writing right now. So you see, I have this habit of talking while writing/typing things, so it's just kinda funny because it's like I'm talking to myself. It's just crazy. I'm nuts.

And I got another block, lol.

So I guess that I'm not the only one who's this timid, and awkward, and just... what again the similar word to describe this personality? apprehensive? well something along that line, so whenever I encounter someone just like like me, I was like, "Hello my fella, let me give you some hug. Oh but there's a wall. A great wall of China. Never mind. You could keep your wall, and I'll keep mine, but we still could be wall-buddy." Like what the hell am I even talking about?

Talking about wall, I always put some barriers with people which height and thickness differed depending on the people. You see, I trust nobody, not even myself. But then again there's a catch how to see who you definitely could not trust at all. If a person gossips her friends behind her back, then she surely can't be trusted. Because she'll surely talk about you behind your back. I put a great wall of China for this kind of people. So when I found out my best friend told some people the story I told her to tell no soul, I also put this great wall of China for her. I don't discriminate. But she's still my best friend.

To begin with, I have trust issue and it's not like I expect people to be trustworthy. So that's how I'd rather not talking about how I feel (though I do share them on social media, but then again I have no friends there, so doesn't matter, right?) or my secrets. I can take care of them myself. I'll even drag them to my grave.

Beside wall, I also have this narrow comfort zone, where I allow no soul to step into. I don't like people touching me and I found hugging uncomfortable even between the same gender. There's one time that I feel like murdering someone because he crossed my great wall and my comfort zone and I was wondering whether I could report him to the police. And they said Hanna from 13 Reasons Why was overreacting.

I guess I had a horrible luck that day. I got home rather late since I had a job to finish, so I wasn't as picky as I used to be when I had to ride Angkot (there is a certain Angkot which I avoid, at all cost), and It was already crowded, so crowded that I had to put my foot on the footing entrance until I got to my final stop (I don't know how to say it in English, basically it was something you step on in order to get into the Angkot). But that's not the problem, I already put my earphones and set the music on, and as long as I didn't make contact with anyone I would be fine. The problem was when I arrived at my destination.

So there was this certain guy, sitting on the front, next to the driver and I just handed the money to the driver and he was the one who took it. Well, it's not a problem, he's just helping, and it was a common thing so I don't even mind it. He then asked me some question which I answered with just "What? sorry, I can't hear you, I've put my earphone on" or something like that, and he was then handed me the changes which I took carefully since I didn't want to have a skin contact with him. And you know what? When I just finally got the money that damn trash deliberately touched my hand while grinning nastily. He definitely knew that I carefully took the money so I didn't have to have a skin contact with him, and he just discredited my efforts and just touched my hand.

I hope his hand rots in this life time.

I was just so dumbfounded that I cursed wtf out loud. I don't usually curse, especially using that kind of curse. But I was so angry and I am still angry. I am a Muslim (and I bet he is also Muslim) and I wear Hijab as well and why did he think that I wear Hijab at all? Did he think that just because I'm ugly he could just touch my hand and I wouldn't be angry? or did I look that easy?

Despite religion stuff, you just SHOULD NOT TOUCH people without their permission, especially when you are already aware that they don't want to be touched. Doing the otherwise is a crime. I seriously hope that trash's hand rots in this life time. I hold a grudge well.

And I just wasted my random talk for that kind of trash.

Well, I can't help it, I just really hate that stuff the most.

You see, I can't stand male creatures at all. It took me years just to get along with my male friends, and they were my classmates. I don't feel comfortable around them, so I mostly ignore them, which made me somewhat rude. But I have my own reason. And I don't want to explain it to anyone, since it's not like I want them to understand anyway. It's just like that I guess. I wonder whether I could marry someone at all in the end. lol.

And I guess that would be the end of my random talk. I'm sorry that I used some mean and bad words here and somewhat got enraged, but I feel like I have to write something about this bad luck, so may be I could feel better and could just let it go. Anyway thank you for reading this.

And you know what? You are my favorite people.

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15th Note-The Isekai World Setting of Kindergarten (Diary of A Mob Character)

February 08, 2019
By kyrayu
0 Comments

Image Source: Google Image

So before I proceed to the actual story I just want to say this is not a fictional story about Isekai world. I'm just exaggerating a bit since I couldn't find any interesting tittle. I was kinda thinking to use the title 'The hierarchy in kindergarten' but it sounds too serious and yeah... I have no words. And so this post will be about my experiences when I was attending Kindergarten with my cousin a very long long long time ago. Btw there's really a hierarchy back then.

The first time we actually went to our kindergarten I remember that a lot of kids were bawling and the class was in a blast. And no, I didn't cry. My cousin did. Which made me end up crying as well in the end. But I pretended like I didn't. Because I didn't want to lose to my cousin since I was one month older than him. Not so much a beautiful memory for both of us. But there, we learnt how ruthless the place called kindergarten could really be (sorry, that's a bit extreme).

So my cousin, just call him Adi, he's this bright easy-going child which somehow able to make friend with the most famous troublesome kid in the whole kindergarten (let just call him Anang). You could say that Adi was like a main character who was just a normal character at first before he discovered that he had this over-powered ability after he transferred into an Isekai world called kindergarten. He then befriended with the most outstanding hero (Anang) in the country and got himself recognized by the whole nations (our peers).

And what about me? Well, I was an outcast. I only had a single girl friend, Caca, and she's one of our distance relative, and surely she's also an outcast. What I mean is no girls wanted to talk to us.

How did this happen anyway? I don't remember much, all I remember that there was this one girl (just call her Della) who was despite having dead teeth, was feared by the whole girls in the class. And yeah, she's like the queen. I don't know why Caca and I were disliked by her (she did confront both of us and stated she didn't want to be friend with us both), and it's not like she asked the girls to cast out both of us. It's just somewhat happened. We were just the outcasts.

But it's not that bad I guess. Even though Caca and I didn't have any girl friends, Adi and Anang sometimes did play with us. We were like going-home-buddies since we usually went home together by riding Angkot driven by Anang's mother (his mother was really awesome). So one day, while Adi and Anang were swaying hard on a swing, Caca and I just pick some rotten starfruits on the ground and started to throw them to Adi and Anang (I don't even know whose's idea it was). And so we were just all laughing and somehow the kids around us just stopped what they were doing and just watched us playing around until finally one of the rotten starfruit hit Anang's mouth. It brought laughter to us to no end. I remember that some of us couldn't even stand and just sat on the ground unable to hold our laughter. Now that I think of it, it's not that even funny.

And that event became the most trending topic for like months in our little kindergarten. And the kids who didn't witness the event started to ask us to tell them the whole story, which we somewhat modified here and there, like adding the part where there were caterpillars on the starfruit (which I doubt they were even there). The funny thing is there was this one girl who was before our morning assembly told Caca and me that she didn't want to talk and be friend with both of us. But after the event, when we were assembled in front of the classroom, she just came to us and said she wanted to be friend with us. And the next day she came to us again and said she didn't want to be friend with us, again. And we were like, ok.

Since then our status upgraded from the outcasts into.... mob characters (sorry Caca for calling you mob). It's not that we have a lot of girl friends, but they started talking to us a lot after that legendary event. At least it was better than having no friend at all.

So in this Isekai world, who was the king? It was our teacher. And also there was this one kid I could never forgot who hold the role of Angel. There's an unwritten rule among us to never bother this kid at all. If you did, you had to face the wrath of our teacher and the whole class. This girl had a pale fair skin with shiny brown hair. If I have to describe her she was rather delicate and a cry baby. And it turned out the girl actually had a serious illness. She didn't attend the class very much, and I could not remember whether she was actually able to graduate with us together. But somehow, I could never forgot her face, and I don't even know why.

Almost forgot to mention, I have some silly experiences (if it's not shameful) when I was in Kindergarden (well, I guess everyone did). I didn't know that I could be a quite strong headed kid who was just really stubborn. I remember that we were just about to learn how to write teens numbers and I stubbornly write number 14 as 41 (actually it was 12, but since English word structure for 12 is quite different compared to Bahasa Indonesia, I use number 14 as an analogy). My 5-years-old-self thought the teacher mistakenly wrote the number fourteen as 14. I didn't even ask the teacher why she wrote that way, and I just silently and stubbornly kept writing fourteen as 41 even though I kept getting the cross marks. My reason was since we called fourteen by four first and then teen after that so we should write the four (4) first then the teen (1) later. But then when we got to tens number I got all confused and finally admitted that I was wrong. Such a silly problematic child.

There was also one time when I was left behind by the Angkot with everyone's already in, so when they just arrived at our home, they had to go back to our kindergarten to pick me up. I still think that I was pretty stupid at that time. So the story was like this.

When all our classes ended, Anang, Hadi, and Caca usually would go to this certain store near our Kindergarten to buy some toys or snacks. I usually tagged along, but at that time I didn't have any money so I just wait for them by the Kindergaten gate. The problem was they didn't come back to the gate and instead I saw them all already in the angkot and they were all passing by before my eyes. And do you know what I did at that time? My other friends who was waiting for their parents were all waving their hands to Anang while saying good bye. And that's what I exactly did. Waving my hand to Anang and said goodbye to him instead of shouting to them to stop the angkot and take me in. And I kept repeating saying goodbye to Anang while crying.

And when they finally came back to pick me up, they were all laughing while I was crying even harder. Such cold-hearted kids they were to even forget my existence. And they just said that they all truly forgot about me, and just when Adi was about to get off the angkot they then realized that I wasn't there. Yeah, right. I even said goodbye to you Anang.

And that's the story of my Kindergarten era. And I'm not confident that my memories of Kindergarten are all right, I might forgot some details and what I truly remember might not be the exact things. Kids sometimes could be quite evil, but then they don't even have awareness of them being evil. I guess my Kindergarten experiences were not so bad after all. Well, I was one of the lucky kids who was still able to attend a Kindergarten (during that time not many kids were able to attend the kindergartens since they were kinda pricey). And I sure do treasure those moments and they filled my childhood as well. And finally, thank you for being here. Well, that came out random, but still I really want to thank you for being here.