Image Source: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/anxiety-and-escapism-a-post-traumatic-stress-disorder

Hello, How are you doing? Hope you’re doing good wherever you are.

After a number of blogs, and now another blog. It’s been a long time since the last time I’ve wrote something, anything.

I need it though. For escapism.

I’ve been contemplating a lot lately. Like what I’m going to do with my life, my career, myself in general. After 30 years and in the end it has always been about me.

At some point I wonder if I’m really needed by anyone. Like what role am I playing right now? What could I really offer? Can I make someone happy at all? While I’m like this.

It just feels too much right now. Like everything is just so unbearable that you get choked up while breathing. Like when you’re running out of words to say so you have this awkward moment of silent yet everyone’s being still, keep waiting. Or like when someone the least you expect to hurt you, bleed you dry.

Sometimes a little mistake could cause a decade of heartache.

What does it matter. In the end, here I am. Running from everyone and myself. Anything to feel less nothing.

I need to run.

I need to hide.

I need to feel okay again.

So here I am.

Hello, It’s me, again.