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| It's puppy love, they said. But I don't have puppy, so are kittens alright? |
I don’t have any topic for this 7th note, so this will just
be a random grumbling I guess. I kinda thought to do some reminiscence about
those years of teenage love, but I don’t feel like to do so. Or so I thought. This
is because of IU. Her song ‘Through the Night’ just hit me right in the kokoro.
So I guess I’ll do it.
Here, in my country we called teenage love as Cinta Monyet.
In English they called it puppy love. Now I wonder the term for adult love.
Wolf love?
I was not really thinking it all thorough when I decided to
talk about things like this. But now, I feel ticklish and nausea at the same
time. This is way too embarrassing and weird. I feel weird. Like wanting to
punch something.
It’s all weird because I teach at elementary school. And as
a bystander, who watched it happened in front of my eyes, and in the middle of
a lesson at that, was just too much for me who just began my teaching
career. The two kids were staring at
each other while smiling. And I was like are they for real? The gaps between
old and young generations were just too unbelievable.
But I guess it was pretty normal, or was it? There was
something like that in Junior High School, but Elementary is just a bit ….
Aren’t you guys too early for that? Like I’m one to talk, lol. Then I remembered
that we also had this girls-talk about having certain interest in our opposite
gender, but it was something we did secretly.
I guess whether we did secretly or not, it is still wrong. Elementary
students huh. I’d rather had them playing in the dirt instead of this.
There was also one time that I caught a student sending a love
letter and got his reply back. God, kids, I don’t particularly care that you
were in love, but please don’t read it in the classroom. Because it was awkward
for me to witness all of that. I didn’t even know that it was a love letter at
first. Since they passed it between each other, I came to seize the paper and
accidentally-intentionally read the paper. There, he just confessed to a girl
above his grade, and got rejected for the reason he was too short for her. Poor
guy. His first love confession got rejected and also got known by the whole
class. I was not the one who spread the rumor; his friends read the paper
before I seize them. And he was just a 4th grader at that time.
Around 9 years old. We seriously should stop feeding the kids with those
sinetrons and serials.
Teenagers are just, how do I put it, troublesome beings who
did a lot of stupid things which they didn’t realize it was stupid until they finally
wake up. Like actually wake up. You might know what I mean. Dealing with them is
just too bothersome. Not that I don’t understand where their shortcoming came
from. I’ve been there. We’ve been there. So let’s talk again when you are a bit
older. I’m bad dealing with these creatures.
And so about puppy love, I don’t really want to talk about
my experience, but just get it done, me. You can do it.
I think the most unforgettable puppy love was when I was in Junior
High School. He was my classmate for three years, and my target of unrequited
love for four or five years (or may be longer than that). I want to smack
myself whenever I remember this stuff. He was a good kid and kinda like the
hero of a shoujo manga (ugh the cringe). You see, he just moved in from a big city, was a class
representative for three years, a student
council president, an ace of boy scout, and on top of that the top 3 highest
scorer in our grade. What a cliche, right? What kind of a perfect teenager is
he? What kind of shoujo manga I was living in? And I was just that lame mob
character, who’s there but not there, ugly, timid, and I should just stop
self-shaming myself.
I think I started to feel something for him when we just
happened to explore the left out of tin mining near our friend’s house (see, we
teenagers were really weird). I think it was the moment he stretched his hand
in order to help me to cross some pit. Which I just ignored for revenge. I was
kinda having some weird complexes about him because he was so perfect. It was a jealousy
at first because he was smart, rich, and well-known I guess. I know. I was the
most stupid teenagers I’ve ever known.
I bet he knew that I have feelings for him in the end (don’t
tell me he didn’t). Because I blatantly ignored him all the freaking time, the
whole freaking three years. I can’t even look into his eyes whenever I had to talk
to him. I hated you, me. You were so pathetic, me.
But it all ended well I guess. The last time I’ve met him
was when I was just about to start college. I really appreciate the fact that
he tried to have conversations with me even though I was still the old awkward
me. He was kind to me, like he was kind to others, and he did not ignore me
like I ignored him. Yeah, you’re right. I’m the worst.
I did get the news from my cousin who happened to like him
as well that he already got married some years ago. And I was really happy for
him, because I always believe that he deserved all the happiness. Do I still
have feelings for him? Nah the love was already dead a long time ago. Because
the him that I loved was the Junior High School him. But I could finally say
with confidence that I was glad that he was the person I was in love with during
my Junior High School era. I truly do. And somehow I want to thank him for
everything.
And that’s the story of my puppy love. I think it was pretty
normal, kinda shoujo-ish, but that happened. Believe me. You might ask my cousin
since we were in the same Junior High School.
Finally, I have to admit that puppy love does exist. We
might not know whether it was our true love or not. Because time changes
everything, and so with feelings. Don’t
surrender yourself to this fickle feeling and lose yourself in the end. Don’t hurry, you have a lot of time to fall in
love ahead of you. Don’t hurry, there are a lot of important things you have to
do than wasting your time with uncertainty. Don’t hurry and don’t regret.
I have to say this since I am a teacher after all. Just go
study kids.
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